When The Mother Spoke to me

Aha moment, one more time.
As usual i walked to meditation hall, all most on time. or to say i was laste, according to one watch. another showing i am early and still another one telling me i am well before time. god knows whom to belive. but coming to meditation hall, yesterday was something i will never forget. It was just a simple moment of connections. As i entered the hall, yesterday evening everything was calm and silent. smile came to me and i welcomed her with smile on face. smile which comes when i see karuna didi seating on her Dias for singing, special music for meditation. i was looking forward to hear something amazing from her after a long break. i looked for a seat and sat little near to her only.

Rangma didi by than had started reading following words of The Mother from Prayers and Meditation. I was thrilled. message was powerful, for a moment i felt like yes, maa. yes, maa. i too want that too.

here is part which i listen in deep gratitude and calmness.
 

December 7, 1912*
LIKE a flame that burns in silence, like a perfume that
rises straight upward without wavering, my love goes to
Thee; and like the child who does not reason and has no
care, I trust myself to Thee that Thy Will may be done,
that Thy Light may manifest, Thy Peace radiate, Thy Love
cover the world. When Thou willest I shall be in Thee,
Thyself, and there shall be no more any distinction; I
await that blessed hour without impatience of any kind,
letting myself flow irresistibly toward it as a peaceful
stream flows toward the boundless ocean.
     Thy Peace is in me, and in that Peace I see Thee alone
present in everything, with the calm of Eternity.



Karuna didi had given wonderful background score during passage and she took it over with commentary on what we read. when she turned her gaz upward and utter those words - for whom it has been meant. who is eligiable to read this book. which is not a novel or a cinema songs, or for study and pleasure. what are those conditions.

Karuna didi sung same verse in hindi, translated by one of the ashramite here, on the occasion of centenary year of The Mother's birthday.
book title 'dipti sikha'

i wasn't singing but my whole being was, from every particle were singing one song for the divine.
same prayer, same thing. and i felt Thee had came and spoken those words.
in silent i walked out and till now. i am in almost same state, little awake praying for the union.

rom rom bas yah pukar rahi,
tum hi ko he yah pukar rahi;
ab mera jivan tum ho,
tum ho bas tum ho, tum ho.

eti shubham

vaibhav 26/04/2013

one mistake

One mistake,

ever and ever again

still it remains

one mistake.

One mistake,

helping and elevating

ever and ever again

still it remains a one mistake.

One mistake,

knowingly unknown,

emerging from the window of fear,

ever and ever again

still it remains a one mistake.

even if i repeat it thousand times,

still it will be one mistake,

ever and ever again

I have committed

I had communicated

I got confused 

still from that one mistake

and still again

mistake came as a miracle

creating new ambience

for another discovery

on the path i travelled

and each time 

now not the one miracle

but ever and ever again

grace of divine, which

is miracle 

as i don't understand

way it works

now not over and over again

but let it be forever again

one mistakes leading to million miracle.

confusion

This is my first trial attempt to load some video/audio here.

here one of my favorite song in my irritating ups and down pitches.. so please bare with it.

Confusion he confusion he confusion hee....

kya dimag fuse huva he

ki ideas ka fusion he..

yahi to confusion heee.

original tuned not so sung well song here....

confusion audio

Thoughts

As I got pat on my back,

what a wonderful thought?

I thought!!

Let us begin,

jumping and dancing,

claiming thy victory I thought.

On that wonderful thought.

A thought of liberation,

A thought of realization,

A thought for progress,

But just a thought.

wait and again thought,

Oh My God, I cried

with another thought.

chain of thought,

without any link,

how it started?

how they survived?

what to pick and what not to pick?

again I thought.

Will you shut up now,

I told to my Thought!

showing teeth to me,

he passed another thought.

Enough is enough,

Let me break this chain.

Instead of dwelling and telling,

I stood there willing;

smiling on them rebelling

I stood there rebelling.

In that stillness,

floating with time,

exploring and discovering;

abundant joy of mine.

Free Progress Way in Integral Education

Free Progress Way in Integral Education

 something for trickling, raising question first.. 

In an Integral Education,

Free progress is one of the ways.

Where free stand for being free,

Free of own desires and impulses,

Free of outer view and concepts,

Free doesn’t stands here for

Doing what one like to do,

Or wants to do,

Nor about free to do anything.

It is about being free to do,

What is relevant for progress?

How we come to Know,
What is relevant for progress.

Thus it requires discipline and guidance,

To know and discover ones aim of life.

One is free for this discovery

To take up this adventure

Only and only for a progress,

Without which life is dead.

[Now in form of analogy, has to try out in poetic way later. Also keep in mind no analogy is 100% complete as after all it is an analogy not real thing itself.]

It is a way of water cycle; of a river. River knows her goal, her aim in life. She wants to achieve it. Traditionally we had been kept goal of river as meeting to ocean. But for me, at this moment it is not final and true aim of hers. Her true aim is to become nectar. She wants to help others in her course and wants to forget about herself. With this aim in mind, she begins her journey from her home in mountains. First thing she has to do is to come out of comforts and conditioned imposed by older on her. First step towards free. Yet she has to keep in mind that I have to progress, for which she accepts being in discipline and takes helps of banks. Without which she can’t move further and work for progress. Despite of all odd with this free progress she meets her goal. This is not complete she has to go for another level of freedom. Not to lose her originality, purity within. Again she aspires, with divine grace of Sun sets herself free, forms a union and comes back again for progress. She will keep on till whole of water comes to its natural state. Not of sweet and sour, not of color or shape. Completely free.

 [so much its symbolic, without pretext i doubt if anyone can understand it. hope soon i will come with proper introduction.. right now only this much.]

On the verge

On the verge I stood, 

about to fall,

in a known trap

and something i heard..

i set back

proclaimed why i had come,

begun what i should 

I finally completed my own personal profile cum goal set cum review and group profile of my class. yet main task of 5 page write and my letter to parampriya is still pending. while working on all this, reading some thought provoking books, i had fallen down. gave up all my best to lower impulse of vital. after two days of sorry, today somehow i have managed to say NO. yet i went till the edge today also. I do hope by remembering my old poem 'Did you DO it?' will come out and soar in peace and bliss.

that year old poem

Did you DO it?

When sky turns red and gold,

Hovering over me, roaring onto me;

She came and asked, “Did You do it?”

I was amazed, I was scared,

Why she has pocked to me,

And she asked again, “Did you do it?”

I had to reveal open secret,

We both knew what I did it;

Still she asked, “Did you do it?”

Some time wonder, some time weep

Joy and cry in shy, all I answered

When she asked, “Did you do it?”

Here is an account of what I did,

And what I didn’t,

Where far I flied and in my abode.

Before writing this and till I finish this,

She will come again and will ask;

“Did you do it?”
 - Vaibhav [14/03/2012]

[First two stanza and idea of this poem came on 7th march, day of holika dahan, when I was doing my shramdaan in kitchen. Two red wattle lapwin were chasing crows and roaring over them. What I heard was ‘did you do it?’

In poem she stands for bird, synonymous to dear The Mother and very near to my heart parampriya.]

chalo nayi daastaan likhe..

chalo nayi daastaan likhe...

dastak ki he naye saal ne ek darkasht le kar,
dakhila de hum ish jaha me nek khayal ko;
sifarish bhi woh saath laaya mere malik ke,
jo muje he pukar raha,
chalo nayi daastaan likhe.. 

chal mere bande, ab to nikal chal,
din dhal gaya he, 
dum he to nikal chal.
ek nayi daastaan likhne..



As first day of a year 2013 is about to end, a strong prayer is emerging out from the heart. To be, SATYAVAN. His way of sadhana is one where my heart, body and mind rests.

" But thou hast come and all will surely change:
I shall feel the World-Mother in thy golden limbs
And hear her wisdom in thy sacred voice
The child of the Void shall be reborn in God,
My Matter shall evade the Inconscient’s trance.
My body like my spirit shall be free.
It shall escape from Death and Ignorance. "

Satyavan's call to Savitri, on their destined meeting. Today, most of the time i felt an urge to answer few questions, to sought answers of them all in a days to come. symbols and legends of Savitri has revealed something significant for me and pertaining to my life. mind and heart is constantly drawing revelance with each part of the symbols.

Satyavan, who bares truth within. ignorant of his real self, he walks in joy in a palace of pleasures. Born in a human form, whose father has long forgotten and now lost the kingdom of glory and glame. In a process of creating identity he has cut the link from I and created a false, trapped i. The son of that father, contented in a way, not aware of real presence within. Now, he has awakened on a touch of savitri. He aspires to be with her, and through her to see the world and transcend the world. reclaim the glory.

O Parampriya, let this year be of total surrender, complete in its nature, with full sincerity and gratitude. A surrender as done by Satyavan. Satyavan within me us, asks to thee ' To come and make an abode in this part of your being.  transfigure and transform the mind and matter, canalised the energy to reveal thy self, to manifest thy way.'

eti shubham