Gulf, again...

 A gulf between me and you,

I feel it, I tell it. 

shall I bare it?

all those bang of silence,

cacophony of life, body & mind.

In hope of listening

to that faint voice

coming from some deep cave within.

Echo of errors, mistakes fills the space,

snatches the peace and leaves the shadow;

is this the result of following the light?

To remain under the shadow of light,

go on with the nature, flow on.

Or there is a choice to be made

every moment, ever fresh

transform and go beyond the forms

Is this gulf going to remain forever?

Or there is a union written, communion to happen?

Every passing question, leaves only two choices

return to base and go on circling, 

or climb up, up & up.

but what about this puff, puff, puff.

Awake, Aware, Alert - make yourselves alive

whatever you do, offer and believe.

ohh! by doing so will gulf disappear?

Ohh! again, a question. 

mute, I stand , listening to bang of silence

again and again, in hope of some gain

may even get a grain, will take it like a rain

pain if that is to be bare, whether it is rare

or is it fair? not a single interrogation to dare.

just walk on, in midst of opposite pair.

keep balance on, among opposite pair.

gulf is not there to engulf in dark air

it may flung, grind, and stir

evoke and climb the stair

every moment, need is dire

keep flaming, burning the fire

it will set unwanted on pyre

today or tomorrow crossing, surer

way to happen, just prepare

no time to pamper

prompt response, share , share & share

love & light, laughter only to hear

a glad start in neutral gear

that is all asked, o dear.

Kathak aaur Me

 

Vaibhav (jiyomaitry) · Kathak Aaur Me | story untold of dance as sadhana - Vaibhav

यह कथक जो  

गुरु शिष्य परम्परा से चलता आया

ज्ञान मनोरंजन भक्ति को पाना 

जीवन कथा को नृत्य रूप दिखाना   

मंदिर दरबार से रंगमंच तक छाया।  

कथनी करनी को हर रस में सजाना 

घुंघरू संग ताल पर नाचना - नचाना 

पलटे भाग्य रंग अभिनय दिखाना 

बहिर्मुख से अंतरंग को जाना। 

कथक का मेरे जीवन में आना

जैसे प्रेमी का प्रीतम को पाना

साधना का यह मार्ग अनोखा

लय यात्री की आरोह गत-चाल चलना  

इस तन की धारा का होमित होना 

भूतल से परमप्रिय  को पुकारना

जैसे राधा - मीरा का समर्पित होना

कुछ ऐसा मैंने तत्कार के बोलो को जाना 

ता थई थई तत

आ थई थई तत।।  २।। 

परमप्रिय को अपनी बात बताना

जीवन में स्थिरता को पाना

सम आदि का ध्यान लगाना

कथक से मेने खुद को जाना। 

कथक से मेने खुदा  को पान। 

- vaibhav pandya

February 2021

for

bang bang

Lord came with a bang!
Hit me hard,
I fallen on ground,
Scattered and broken

I came to know it was he who broke me,
When he worked to woke me;
To make me him, he had to break me.

For new creation and making a mould

based on truth - light & beauty;

I instead cling to those broken self,

Out of fear of loosing that dear friend,
A question of consequence,
What I had said and what World will say?
as more I tighten, he hits with more might,
So child like me become mild.

I hope I knew rule of his game,
Breaking and making is his old new game,
And after writing about those bang and pang,
been in that pang thousand times, 

increasing and deviating on the path
There in those moment, I felt, experienced
first hand, my lord saying
Dhyayto vishyan punsah, sanghaste supajayate,
Sanghatsanjayate kaamah kama kroddho bhi jaaayte.....
...
His song geeta's this verse came, leaving behind me in that state.
Beauty in his beating is what this part of self going through...


- vaibhav
03-07-2014

posted on 03-07-2020

Edited on 03-07-2021

May May May

A month passed by

may be you didn't notice?

may be you noticed?

may be your notice makes a difference or may not?

All such crazy stuff in the month of 'May'.

Every moment a choice,

determines the future.

if you know your choice

may be this and 

may be that

you will not be caught

in infinite loop

and get yourself drown

in pool of thoughts.

All wishful thinking

bizarre actions and 

in between speeches

let join them together

Now 'June' has begun.

Tie them around beauty

give shower of love

action speaks and 

thoughts get connect.

may new knowledge 

will emerge from

our connections.

last few days

Last few days

putting up a veil,

All done went in vain

looking for a rays;

like playing with oneself

hide & seek, a play.

Order Order Order

a hush, sudden & strong

silence were summoned

and felt till the core.

"Organize your thought

and your life.

Bring in some order

around me." Judge Demands

" Put things at its right place,

do not forget and mix up case

take some rest

dust off the past

open the window

let future come in

that's the order!"

Fined with present

task to be done in present

while mind arrested in past,

caught in dealing with 

where to keep future bar.

cases is not strange,

yet it is.

where judge is seated within and

lawyer is one for 

defense and prosecution.

creates a lot of

melodrama, Stop!

Be simple and sincere

let some sun-shine fall

No need to put a bar

it's time to raise your bar.

order is order

goes on recorder

who write a record?

not a question to ask?

find an accord in seemingly discord.

Last few days

I was looking for rays

now I have found

an order hounds

waste no time,to fool around

its not cool

to take up another round,

go through all those sounds

break the chain which is bound.

Last few days...

over

gone

Flip-Flop

Who wants to be flop?
You, Me or We!
No one wants to be
but its easy to slide
a downward slope.

I have an issue
which makes my attempt flop
might not  be seen
out, but very much on
in present past
so subtle now
that comes as a surprise
takes me on a ride
by the time it gets
some another tide
It seems I need to tie
myself with big anchor
some calls it sankalp
yes, that is an issue
desires moving freely
unquenched
making decisions go flip-flop
just like a hit-me-not
without a base,
topple any side
and get hit from all the sides

flip-flop
a sure sign
for making a flop
I know,
I have it.
I know,
How to deal with
but I know only.
I am trying
bringing it in Do
do-do-do-do
require a quiet a lot of strength.
I can still put a blame
on someone or on circumstances
No! I can't make more excuse
have to try out
bring in all courage to
remain stick.
no more flip-flop
do not apply a logic
as you know its a gate to flop
don't go aflot
come back and toil
ground is available
here and now

no more flip-flop
let me plough
grace will come
and harvest will shine.

-----------------------------

Written in a state of constant flip-flop going on at subtle level and manifesting at outer.
whether its money, marriage or work or simple daily task to eat or not? there is a flip-flop.
can a control, a order come in? Yes, Very much. and as one dwells, observers and work upon.
Right time, guidance comes. Here is one such source.

क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?

क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
तेरा था क्या?
जो तू रोवे!
तेरा था क्या?
जो तू खोवे!

क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
तेरे हाथोंमें है क्या?
तेरे हाथो से जो बोवै,
वही तो तू पावे।
तेरे हाथों में है क्या?

क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
समय आया क्या?
सपनों मे, वास्तव मे
समय आया क्या?
जो होना वही होवे।

क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
कोन पीछे पड़ा है?
अहं तेरा, भरम तेरा
कोन पीछे पड़ा है?
कोई सवाल, कोई जवाब

क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
जो तू चाहे
या
वह चाहे?
तुझको क्या भावे?
यह तो था बस उसका होना।
शून्य का था सर्जन, शून्य हो जाना।
क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
जो भी तू पावे।
क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
जो भी तू गावे।
क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
जो भी तू बांटे।
क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
जो रखे हे दिलमें संभाले।
क्या होवे? क्या ना होवे?
बस तेरा मेरा हो ना।

(बह रही थी कोई, अंदर से मेरे। ढूंढ रहा हूं बाहर के कोने। कभी मिली थी मुझसे, थोड़ा मुझसे निकल कर या मुझको निकाल कर? बह गई अब वो, जो तलाशा मैंने। क्या वोह कह गई, बातें अधूरी सी रह गई। दिल हे सुखा और आंखे गीली। अंत ना था वो कविता की सरिता, अभिव्यक्ति मेरी अधूरी। क्योंकि में रह गया अधूरा, वो बह गई मधुरी? पूरब की और, कुछ हवा कह रही। आते जाते मुझे संदेशा देती, उस आश पर जीवित ...
जो अंदर से बहती, बाहर वो मिलती...)

-वैभव

happen and unhappen - video

 

yeh safar

क्या तुझे फ़खर हे तेरे मेरे सफ़र पे||
फ़िक्र यह नही,
फ़िक्र नयी यह नही फ़र्क
के हमे या तूमे फ़खर हे या नही?
पर ये फ़र्क कहा से आया हे?
हमसफ़र हम तुम्हारे पुराने.
साथ रहे, पास रहे,
एक आश् मे बुने, 
फिर भी आज क्यू एक नही.

सफ़र चलता रहेगा,
बात बनती रहेगी.
कभी ना कभी,
नफ़रत की सूरत से
इश्क़ की मूरत
निकल आए
यही हौसला लिए.
फखर हे हमे, की हम चल दिए.
जले जिए, ओर शायद
बुजने से पहले
तेरे हो लिए.

Vaibhav, 24-05-2019

----

I heard this song yeh safar, from 1942, a love story. few months back. Since then its link was saved on this blog post. Today, while listening to another song. again on travelling ' Jaane kya dhoondhta he'. I remember a simple stirring song back again. Above few lines are written while asking same question again. and searching for the answer.

dream again

Had written it few years ago in roman script. today presenting it with devnagari.
Tentatively, it was 3rd may 2010.


बाँध आँखो से देखा था एक सपना|
उसे आज फिर से देखने का मन चाहा, खुली आँखो से उसे देखना चाहू|
 विधवान कह रहे जीवन एक स्वप्ना हे, हा तो स्वप्ना को मे जीना चाहू. उस स्वप्ना को सोने सा सजन मे चाहू. थोड़ी देर तक रहस्य मे गुम था. स्वप्ना के जगह तारे देख रहा, पर आज सूरज फिर निकाला हे, ओर मे भी निकल पड़ा हू, वो स्वप्ना को देखने; फिर से उसे जीने के लिए.

thirst

Will ever this thirst be quenched?
thirst for light, love and laughter..
thirst for better and perfect life...
thirst for or thirst of

Will ever this thirst be quenched?
doesn't it give me so much thrust
to trust the process and move on.
To Move and quench
a thirst to come first
and remove the dirt.
who cares? till it burst.
Whether it hurts or not?
Who cares? is this a curse, 'will ever this thirst be quenched?'

does answer will make
all bloom or gloom,
one keeps on quenching.
without questioning,
or with questioning.
Are there different thirst?
or Can I have single thirst for Him, Union?
Why thirst makes me sometime worst?
Why sometime i feel worst when thirst are not quenched?
and when it is quenched i feel topmost?
for a sort while, that feeling of worthwhile and back to dust.
asking is must
again and again
till thirst is quenched
completely, fully.
will ever this thirst be quenched?

કે ભઈ, રાખજે સમતા

તા તા થૈયા
ઉપ્પર નીચે ચઢતો
સ્વર જોને ક્યાં અડતો
જો ક્યાં રહે છે મમતા
કે ભઈ, રાખજે સમતા

સુર બેસૂર થાય કે મધુર ગાયે
તાલ બેતાલ હોયે કે લયબદ્ધ ગાયે
ગમા અણગમા, મનને સમજાવતા
કે ભઈ, રાખજે સમતા!

સ્થિરતા છે, સ્થગિતતા નથી,
ગતિ રાખજે પ્રકાશ તરફ, ને
પ્રગતિની પ્રણાલી
મમ્મત નહિ, ગમ્મત થોડી સહી
મનને સમજાવતા, 
કે ભઈ, રાખજે સમતા!

જે સામો છે, સ્વને મળ્યું છે
મારું મારુ છોડી, થોડું સામાનું પણ જોજે
જીવન સંગીત પર કરતા તા તા થૈયા
કે ભઈ, રાખજે સમતા

- વૈભવ
૩૦-૦૩-૨૦૧૯

छीन लो

प्रभु से मांगा बस इतना।
के काम क्रोध लोभ मोह ,
छीन लो।

मेरी पुकार सुनकर,
वह दयालु आया बुराई छीन ने।
पर, क्यों मे छिनभिन हो रहा?

कुछ था जो मुझमे,
जिसने इन्हींसे खुदको बनाया।
 जब नाथ आये हरने ,
मे हार ना पाया।

- Vaibhav
17-03-2019

--------------------

I was at auditorium watching aarangyetram. First time, along with community member.
Last offering of the day was this beautiful composition of Pandit Ravishankar.
Hey Nath Hum Par Krupa Kijiye

Her dance was so powerful and connecting. At the word of chhin lijiye, it took me. I was broken. As something were taken away.

I felt many time, above prayer comes and still clinging to our past habits, to lower qualities somewhere comes in between in process of purification.

Let today our heart, mind and soul guide us to allow Lord for taking away whatever is harmful and bestow upon all the beauty, love, peace and light.

Dot am I?

Sometimes I feel
That am I,
A water drop
A dot of the ocean
Connected in real,
unreal, virtual dots around.
Who knows?

When I see,
Come out of
False identification
As a Dot, as a drop...
What do I find.
There is no I
Not am I a Dot
Not even a drop
Nor a water
Or called an ocean

Then,
who am I?
Dot, drop, ocean, water, H2O or....
How about just being a part of Nature, Universe? Or simply called manifested nature

As thought travels
Bigger deeper questions emerge
What's there which seeks identity?
Why it seeks so? Does it have such a need?

Shhhhhhh

Silence felt
Down

A knock
And
Again a question

Who are you?

Pause to open

Pause if time has not come yet,
Build the capacity and
Trust... signal will come, gate will be open
to march on...

Pushing doesn't work
as forces always look for balance,
Harmony
Push brings Pulls too
Be Wise
Pause and don't go for a pushing yourself harder...

(.... New part)

Can you remain Open
Without pushing
Without pulling
Is it possible to be just open*
Keep on doing

Take a Pause,
Look at the sky
Look at the earth
How they have been doing
From millennial

Pause
Trust
Open
Receive

- vaibhav

(First part written on 2nd Feb 2017, based upon feeling brought after reading a small passage. A passage attached with angel of the month shared by findhorn foundation. Rest on 2feb 2019.)

* Variation 14/02/2019
When I was close?
Is there something
Which opens up and close down?
Let there be no room
No where to roam
Not even to zoom
Just
Be.

રિબાવતી બારી, ઓ બાવરી

આ બારી, રિબાવે મને!
શા ને હજી ત્યાં શોભે?
ખુલ્લી હતી જ્યાં સુધી,
ત્યાંથી લગાવી છલાંગો
મુક્ત ગગનમાં,
પક્ષી સંગ વિહરવા.
પણ હવે વિરહના દિવસો છે,
વીરને કેમ કરી શોભે!

ઠેર ઠેર લાગી છે જાળીઓ,
કારણ દે,
બહાર અંદરના આવી જાય
પણ અંદરની બહારનું શું?
આ બારી, રિબાવે મને!
શા ને હજી ત્યાં શોભે?
બીજાના જીવનમાં ડોકિયું
આતે કોઈ સભ્યને શોભે
પડદાઓ પાડી રાખો ને રખાવો.
શિખામણ મળે છૂટમાં
પારદર્શકતા રાખો,
આ મૂર્ખામી કેમ કરી થોભે.

વૈભવ
૩૦-૦૧-૨૦૧૯

Is life a circular road

Why I should think, talk and look atthe road not taken?
Isn't it I look at, think and talk about road I have taken.

If life is a circle, 
soon a point will come.
In fact at every next moment,
neighboring point waiting
asking with all its force.

And not with two options, Rather three. Would you like to move towards the center, a little next step? Would you like to move away from the center, a little next step? Would you like to keep the balance and 
move on maintaining the distance from the center?

At this very instant, I always wish to get a conviction, courage to tell, take me through and united forever with the center, love.

- Vaibhav Pandya

26/11/2018

--------------------------------------------------

Above words were somewhere roaming and forming from many days. Today, came across following video.

https://www.facebook.com/TEDEducation/playlist/177317723203840/?hc_location=ufi

A trigger to pen down.

Most quoted and searched poem of all time 'The Road Not Taken' by Robert Frost.

Few months back only, I had read few article, presenting one here.

https://nypost.com/2015/08/16/the-famous-robert-frost-poem-weve-read-wrong-forever/

which carries some mark and find voice in above words. As I write them, so many images and learning of philosophy to physics, human psychology to poems comes into mind.

So you glow..

Scuttle on shuttle of doubt;
When you hear something loud,
Failure again comes to meet
Disappointment grows still.

You feel dejected,
Rejecting all thoughts
Voids are made.
More voices transpire
Filling the void
Leaving all alone.

Left with voices around
Succumb to the pressure around
Shift you need
You know and fail to recall.
Opt out and face the trial.

A step ahead and two back,
Dark void, heavy weighs pulls you down.
Straight you stand, Look at center.
Light going in and out. 
Whether its sucking up all
Or emitting all out.

You want to share, look out for solace
Care of self, How can that entail?
Looking out, many stoppage around
Looking in, blank out.

In random talk, 
Wounds are shown a little.
Healing comes, throw wide
grow wise, with essence which whispers
Go Slow.

Be Still
Repeat again 'Go Slow'
Accept the flaw
Don't be tough and resist
Penetrate and just Flow.
Understand as you go.

You go slow.
So you glow.

- Vaibhav
19/11/2018

scared to sacred

I am scared, I am afraid.

I am sacred, yet unrealized, un-manifested.

That's the why, I am scared & I am afraid.

Will things will repeat, as it had happen?

How long this past will last?

awaiting the future, thy glory and thy grace

I am sacred, so pure & delight.

still why, its so afraid to take up a flight?

move into unknown, move in & out.

Where is that? what we call, Love.

Love isn't it whole of existence.

There is a divide, where will you show unite?

Words are flowing and world is floating

some sense of directions

some menace of thoughts & emotions.

Come, O Lord to help me out.

Calling, Calling waiting & waiting.

Let love grow, patience & persevere.

O Lord come down! make me thine.

- Vaibhav

04/06/2018

Its movie time again - 7:00pm, 28-10-2018, found this on internet

scared sacred (trailer)- a beautiful documentary.

for full documentary - NFB - Scared Sacred

When I truly understand that, this I is not a stand alone entity. 

Rather, this I which is called Me, is nothing but a We. 

True sacredness, harmony will emerge.

can you play, a safe game?

Mega game, called life
have you seen it? 
have you lived it? 
have you played it?
Ohh, wait... wait...

let me first find out
who I am? in this
Mega game called life.
I am a player or creator or spectator?
I am an umpire or groundsman or commentator?
Where i see myself?
all, I assume,
shall we resume?

Wait..

No!

Pause! can this be applied to
Mega game called life.
Just go on, or gone!
Really, not sure! 
are there only to options
go on or gone?
It seems so, but... but..

lets probe from somewhere else,
On what ground this game being played?
Is it a space or something else?
game so inclusive, can't see
on so many different grounds,
is it just one game with one innings or many
is it just one game or many games within a games
is it just one game at many grounds, 
where shall i found?
i said,
lets probe from somewhere else,
you always hit a wall
why you always search a fault?
every time you fall.
To make a wells,
you need to dig up well.

Fine, fine, shall we continue to play?
Where to begin but...
I don't see any start or end of it?
Ohh, Isn't you have end in your mind?
What are you saying? 
shall we not play with words and mind!
Ok. 
observe, isn't you always want to win.
a clear end in your mind.
which you always want to find.
whether you make sin, 
or shine.
it's hard to take rest
but one feel to be relax.
flex your arm
not always to follow
what you love
but just to do.

Just go on,
following the laws and rule,
following the foot steps
all the others do
you coward!
'cause your arm can be
flexed by others too.
so you flex your arm
play the game
try to win the race
kill the one
just become rest of one.
never rest
in fear of arrest
or is it other way round
arrested in rules of game
never you rest.
you change the rule,
do you even know the rule?
you change the rule, 
comfort and go on win.
relax, what's lacking in you?
fake and make believe
all goes on, in
Mega game called life.

is I am writing and
you are reading
to find what this game is all about?
to find some solutions of trivial problem of
Mega game called life.

I feel, let's get back to work,
just observe with openness 
ask, aspire to receive.
But you want 
you want everything predictable
you want to play safe
that's the reason you always get caught
Goal! never made, and wicket always fall.

Do you really like predictable games?
If answer is in big No.
how you enjoy and look always 
for and from predictable answers
predictable sources
dictator of its own kind.
if you can't find
go to those story teller
predictions! Predictions!
Pre and post
what you do all the time
post-mortem.

Let game go on
anyways, gone!

--------------------------------

How this piece came up?
So, around noon time came across a status on FB.
Where one of the thought which I used to share and tell a lot were written and explain in more rightful words. 'Everyone is a philosopher.'
Search began to find the article, around that. first i had a felling that i had wrote around it and posted here on blog. after few failures and reconfirming, I haven't. I looked up into old desktop. I found the file, but only with title and few link.
that's where I found another file and something more interesting came up. presenting only last line of it.

...But you see, we don't want to invite life, we want to play a safe game; and those who play a safe game die very safely. 

This words of J. Krishnamurti  resonated so well, at the current state of being. specially, when you are unemployed or self occupied in work. trying to find out how to live a life. 

So, words and images floated around. As usual, i tried to break the words to find the meaning. 

Like many other time, letters were separated. playing crossword. G - A - M - E... little rearrangement and it becomes M-E-G-A.

Thus,

Mega game called life.

and rest kept on flowing, some in making.

As i wrote down this prose, i again kept on asking google for its meaning. of different words.

and found a phrase... so here it goes.

Mega game called life,

hiding a gem called life.

so how this game of hide & seek going?

isn't this a safe game, 

we want to play.

we want to hide all that's ours and 

still keep on seeking, what's all out there.

what you seek, keeps on hiding from you. 

and you on hunt, 

hiding few things more and 

seeking few things less.

In the movement of moments

let change be new rule.

discover all hidden and show them out

what you seek, any way you going to get.

-vaibhav
26-10-2018

---

27-10-2018
again found a beautiful song, depicting the words in more musical and lyrical form.
game called life

I am missing something, right?

looking for a light....
Its a lovely night
but I am missing something, right?
I still don't have that might
to hold you tight
O, my Light!

Still trying to sight
this seems an endless fight
and I don't like rite
to take a flight
and be in illusion to rewrite.

now I will face you in daylight
to get some delight
yet, all this while
like a lonely kite
I am missing something, right???

24/10/2016

-------------------------------------------

Light is around me

Light is within me

I can feel it sometime

whenever you came and kissed

whenever I bowed down in adoration.

O Light!

why you are missed so much

we are mixed in so much

impure  obscure

this space and time,

are they passing by

or we are passer by 

to Light, eternal.

Nothing makes sense

in dark dreadful paint

words all around

like a wall all around

world seen in wall mirror.

O Light! 

can you break

this heavy lid of ignorance

living in and on inertial

raging out to show

dies down not slow

in a flash

you appear, O Light

crossing mesh

glancing mesh

Come, 

O Light.

So I don't

So I do, and just be

I am missing something, right?

24/10/2018 

-------------------

25/10/2018
Picture credit:
A very simple article, a blog from hawai`i https://kauilapele.wordpress.com/2012/10/21/hold-the-light-and-pass-the-ice-cream/