Tuesday, October 23, 2018

learning by practice, again and again

[Thoughts as they came. No, place to bring coherence but see the pattern.]

It was three years back in October, 2015, I launched a project by name 'Jiyomaitry'.
There were many ideas, mere ideas, many wishful thinking and working alone.
Hosting and launching new workshops. All a flop show!
Working alone and trying to connect with all. Few attempt which never took place. All efforts, unknown greetings to unknown people. Resulting into nothing.

after month and half of just working... I was fad up. I could no longer stand and hear words of failure. I can not accept those failure. At same time, I can not share how it looks and assure others that this is just a phase.
December 2015, gave another dimensions. Travel, connect with people.
Connection again became a key word.

Now, after 3 years.
Some connection are made. deeper connection and relation of friendship with some beautiful people.
Virtual as well as physical. Now they have become a support system.

Three year back, I only use to work and suffocate within after every attempt.
In first session, only one person came. Who were there to support me, my gurubhai.
In second one, I was all alone. Still, I enjoyed being in nature. Juggling and doing tai-chi, other exercises as I had planned. All by myself. Girgaun Chowpatty. Observing Sun rise from the Mumbai beach. Something I never thought of. How is it possible?, I came in connection with real geography, real directions.

Connecting with your roots, soothes you.

Day before yesterday, Thanks to few friends at all level.
A first circle on parenting happened.
I saw a stark difference in me and around me.
I saw how she arranges circumstances for you. How she prepares you and makes you more solid. Condition, you have a faith and patience, a courage to walk again on the path.

I feel grateful to Her.
Heart is fulled, from nothing to everything. I don't know, the reason. a feeling of emptiness, as heavy as mountain. A pang of separation and beyond. Gratitude and void. Something is awaiting to born, to be made.

At thy lotus feet, O, Divine Mother.
Let Thy will be done.




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